Did you know this will be my 14th installment of “Things I Learned in…” It’s insane how fast the year goes by and like each year I’ve been loaded with lessons… quite a few painful ones this past year.
I normally organize my lessons into the categories of Muscle, Mindset, Money, Mission, and Marriage but this year I’m going to share them as they come to mind.
So without further ado, and in no particular order…
1. You can’t change on your own.
At the start of the year I attempted 75 Hard… a 3rd time. I failed within 48 hours on a bag of Ruffles Salt & Vinegar chips. In my 4th attempt I swallowed my pride and admitted I need a ‘band of brothers’ to hold myself accountable. Seven men started and 5 of us finished.
2. Wiring a coach $100K (paid in full) doesn’t mean your business will blow up.
This past year I hired Bedros Keuilian for a year of private 1-1 coaching with the intentions of scaling new divisions of The 7 Figure Mastermind. Instead we identified bottlenecks that needed to be addressed first.
3. 75 Hard is appropriately named.
This challenge was no joke and an excellent cure if you’re looking for a physical, mental and emotional toughness challenge. 75 Hard smoked out all the excuse making, negotiation and complacency I was tolerating.
BONUS – Do it during the winter like we did if you want to make it extra hard!
4. Conflict leads to trust.
One of the best books I read in 2022 was The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni and it helped create a team culture of “saying what you mean” in order to avoid passive aggressiveness and create stronger connection amongst the team.
5. Depression arises when you give up hope.
2022 has dealt me more personal, professional and physical challenges in 1 year than the last 10 years combined. I’ve found a way to avoid depression by always focusing forward.
6. Anxiety comes when you don’t trust the plan.
This leads to self doubt and stalling out. In order to set our company up for exponential growth in 2023 we’ve had to embrace the “2 steps back, 3 steps forward” approach.
7. The bigger the ambition the slower the pace.
If you plan on running a marathon, you better go out at a pace you can maintain or else your enemy will burn out. Every time I feel I’m not going fast enough I remind myself of my big vision. Oh yeah, this is going to take 10+ extra years, not 1 extra year.
8. 1 immediate action is better than 1,000 good intentions.
I witnessed this from countless coaching clients “diving head first” into our program and taking massive and messy action. This is excellent in application to improving relationships too.
9. Trust your gut.
I was advised not to team up with my brother on a new business, www.MenofBedrock.com, because it would be a distraction to my own company. I didn’t listen because I know that advancing the work of Men of Bedrock is more valuable than potentially seeing my own business profits drop.
10. Multiple streams of income is no longer a luxury but necessity.
A coaching business can get you rich, but not wealthy. Investing our profits into pre-development real estate has earned me more money (in profits) than my last 3+ years of cash flow. Get financially literate in order to put your money to work.
11. Your value is not your net worth.
Your value is your values. This past year I got to bring epic dudes up on stage like Bedros Keuilian, Wes Watson and Trevor Bachymer. Initially I was intimidated to ask them to speak but we united on a common mission of “SAVING LIVES”, not what I pay in speaker fees etc.
12. “Revenue is vanity, profit is sanity and cash is reality.” – Andy McDuff
I learned this from our media buyers head of marketing, a very wise gentleman who manages tens of millions in ad spend a year for his clients. I think this quote is pretty self explanatory.
13. Happiness is not something you achieve, it’s where you start.
This requires you to live in a mindset of “gain” versus “gap” and focus on the greatness in your life. Happiness doesn’t come from success but from gratitude for previous experiences and accomplishments. Needing something outside of yourself means your happiness is attached to a moving target or unreachable target. This leads to desperation and obsession.
14. The most important work you’ll do will have no external validation or recognition.
Learning how to be in relationships. Connected to your kids. Present for your spouse. This emotional work is harder and more important than any ice bath, mountain climb, starvation diet, or ultra endurance race.
15. Be careful when changing deliverables in your business.
We made some changes we thought our members would love but it resulted in misunderstanding and some member fallout. Tough lesson to swallow but I discovered that students would prefer a stable versus fast changing environment.
16. Team members will either bow out or step up when you raise your level of standards.
This past year I’ve been pushing to increase my team’s performance and when you hold people to a higher standard you quickly see who wants to grow and who doesn’t. Be careful what you ask for.
17. Live events are exhausting… but also the most fulfilling part of my work.
Our Nashville event was a massive success but man did it wipe me out. It took me over 2 months to recover and next time I’ll have to mitigate the spike in dopamine.
18. Your problems do not go away when you start making money.
More money only presents different problems and one would argue they are better problems but I will leave that for you to decide 🙂 Problems always come with a price, don’t ever forget that.
19. Stay integrated inside your coaching community.
Getting plugged back into group coaching calls and 1-1 calls has allowed me to smoke out a ton of ‘difficiences’ in our service, develop deeper relationships with my students and positioned us to make our coaching, curriculum and community even better.
20. Own your journey.
This is probably the biggest theme of my year. Recognizing that what makes me unique and attractive is owning my experiences, lessons, and abilities.
21. Do a 5 minute cold shower for 30 days to toughen up.
Last year I did a lot of 60 second cold showers. This year I did a full 5 minutes in our ice cold shower. This helped me regulate mentally, physically and emotionally and a great “reset” for my day. It also helped me reduce caffeine, increase energy and productivity at work.
22. God loves me for who I am, not who I could be or should be.
I heard God speak to me this year, “Vince, you don’t qualify yourself. I qualify you and I saw you’re qualified.” “Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints of light.” – Colossians 1;12 This means our past actions don’t qualify or disqualify us from the life ahead of us: God qualifies us. He and He alone.
23. I love Franklin Tennessee.
After countless trips down here to Nashville and Franklin, I’m very confident our prompting to come South with our family was not on our will but God ordained. The clarity has come through the incredible community and men I’m meeting.
24. High volume and high frequency DB workouts jacked me up.
This past summer I did this insane 12 week program that I’m still suffering from. Shoulders, elbows and hips. The second half of 2022 I’ve made zero gains in the gym, just trying to figure out what the heck I did to myself.
25. “The schedule doesn’t dictate your day, your schedule tells you how to schedule your day.” – David Goggins
Instead of shifting plans to adapt to circumstances, shift your circumstances to stick to the original plans.
26. I still have an affection for country music.
I even went to the CMA music festival and saw Morgan Wallen and Cole Swindell live. Next year I’ve already got tickets for my favorite country artist, Riley Green.
27. Organic marketing is completely underrated.
We were able to run a ½ a million dollar a month profit rich business without any ads this past year. Midway through the year I wasn’t confident in our data so everything down to assess the “stability” of my business.
28. It takes 10X more time to develop team members than you anticipate.
Maybe it’s just me but even with Roles and Responsibilities, KPIs, SOP’s, team meeting, and a vetted hiring process I’m finding that leading a team is one of the most challenging things in scaling. Constant communication, leading, managing, and holding the team accountable. It’s a great privilege and opportunity to grow.
29. Emotional discipline is what separates good and great leaders.
I’ve had to learn how to not use frustration as fuel to drive my team and stabilize my emotions more than ever. If you don’t, now your team has to deal with the problem and the problem of you being unstable.
30. Screw “ALL IN” (it’s a short term approach)
No one is truly ALL IN. It’s not possible unless you live a one dimensional life. I’ve seen so many people burn out with this approach so in our community we’ve embraced an alternative approach to long term success, “Consistently good versus occasionally great.”
31. Commitment leads to clarity.
With countless challenges with our visa, selling of home in Toronto, building of home in TN and much more, our commitment to the process is what’s brought clarity. The clarity has come from courage and continuing the course.
32. I can’t handle rejection.
This is the therapy I’m in for at the moment. Through some personal circumstances I’m not proud of, I’ve discovered that by being an achiever, I go into a state of “survival” when I can’t problem solve my way out of an issue. This leads to making bad decisions and saying things I regret. This year I’m committed to figuring out this dark piece of myself.
33. I have a new appreciation for my clients’ success.
Coaching Clients! Do you know why I’m SO proud of you? Because I know the process you’re going through to overcome your insecurities. People see your amazing income wins but I know the painful process you’re in building your business. Keep going!
34. Drop your expectations of sex.
In, “How to Be a Radical Husband” (by the far the most important book for every married man to read), it instructs to give up ALL expectations of your spouse, including sex.
If you “need” sex then you’re not in control and it owns you. Ask God to meet your needs, and then sex will no longer own you. Sex will become something that happens when your wife chooses.
Imagine giving up ALL expectations of your spouse and loving them like Christ loved the church? Giving up expectations is the Godly thing to do.
35. Alex Hormozi said, “People don’t pay you for the value they expect, they pay for you based on the value they have received.”
This was a killer way of saying, “Keep pushing the free line. Operate from abundance and the fact there is 7+ billion people in the world. You can’t outgive the world.
36. No one actually wants a refund.
I’ve learned that people who request refunds simply lack communication abilities to effectively express what they truly want. A refund request arises from a negative “lower self” state.
If you want to reduce refunds teach your students how to properly express their needs in a way that gets them what the positive desired end state they desire. Most people are very close to get everything they want but make decisions from fear and scarcity.
37. From every blessing comes a burden.
I’ve learned that God does not bless your “To do” list or “good intentions list”. He can only bless your Follow through list and “DONE” list. He can open every door in the world but you still need to walk through with fear, uncertainty and doubt.
38. Running a ½ marathon in 27 days was one of my most rewarding experiences in 2022.
I forgot how alive I felt when I ran. The pleasure, the pain, the grind. I’m excited to regroup and set some new challenges in 2023. I learned this from a ½ marathon with 27 days of prep and finishing in 2:13:31 and an average of 6:21km.
39. I have to live it personally before I preach it prophetically.
Every time I catch myself teaching something I’m not living out in my own life, I get humbled by an experience that reminds me I still need to work on myself.
40. My wife doesn’t want to be put up on a pedestal.
I have always wanted to do more business stuff with my wife. I pushed her to get on stage in Nashville. Frankly, she did that to support me, not because she wanted to. I need to let go of my expectations of my wife and love her for who she is. Flavia is a very humble person and does not like the spotlight like her husband.
(BONUS) “I want my job back.” – God
This past year I’ve failed to realize God will provide for us. He has given us everything we need today to direct our steps. I don’t need to worry about having strength tomorrow because He’s given me enough for today.
My new mantra:
I. KNOW. ENOUGH. FOR NOW.
If God has sustained me this far then I must trust whatever is next.
I always want God to reveal the “full plan” but I’m learning that what He’s given to me today is ENOUGH! God is enough.
What was your favorite lesson from 2022?! Drop the #’s below. I’d love to know!
Thanks for reading. Please tag a friend and share with anyone you think would enjoy.
To a positive and productive 2023! Level up or level off.
Top 40 Things I Learned in 2021
Top 40 Things I Learned in 2020
